FALLING IN LOVE

1. The Mystery of the "In-Love" Case
 The 'in love' syndrome is not necessarily true love as yet.
 Love is an illusive aspect: it's a mirage.
 People build illusive dreams about marital bliss. When this dream ends, then real love starts to build up because you know exactly who they are.
 Based on how much they compromise, their love will change and either grow stronger, or lead to a break-up.
 You have to try to maintain the signs of love for they nurture love

Theories on Love:
The Love Tank Theory (by Gary Chapman): Love is like a gas tank. Men wait until the pointer is on empty, and even then they say, I've still got a few more miles on this, so they wait until the tank is completely empty before they stop to get gas.

What happens if there are no gas stations around?!
Women on the other hand, start panicking before the pointer reaches even the half-way line. In love and
marriage, you need to refill often; don't wait until the pointer's on empty, or even on half. Keep refilling; never let your love run out.

The Love Bank Theory: When a couple gets married, it is like opening a joint bank account. Each spouse makes deposits into that account. After a while they start withdrawing, always thinking that they
Have enough to cover them and they don't deposit anything in return. You have to deposit into your love bank account or else you won't have any credit left to withdraw from!


Love is Truly a Mystery:
We learned earlier that Bani Udra were a very passionate people that would sometimes die because of their passionate love. Also, it is reported that Zaid ibn Thaabit (ra) led the janaza prayer over a person who
had died from being in love. There is clearly something going on here. Love ultimately seems to be something that only Allah (swt) holds the secrets to.


2. What Harms Love?
 Exploitation of love itself: "If you love me, then ..." People use love as a commodity. It's not something you use to bargain with.
 Infidelity- if someone chooses to marry a second wife, he jeopardizes his first relationship.
 Acts of disrespect: very dangerous. Once you hurt his dignity and respect, he's gone forever.
 The slanderer.
 Long unnecessary separations: definitely hurts; 'Umar asked the women how long they could stay without their husbands, and they replied maximum 6 months, so he made a rule that every mujahid could stay on an expedition no longer than 6 months.
 Contemporary technology: TV and PC- don't have them in the bedroom, if at all. The bedroom is a place of relaxation and relationship building with your wife. There should be no distractions and inattentiveness
towards your spouse.

My Dear Sisters, Beware of the « Wolves of the NET!!

* Beware of the one who talks to you in “the name of love”

who is promising you marriage but he wants to « know you better » through chat before, who wants to see your pic, or wants to go out with you to “have a better idea” of “his future wife” before taking the first step and talk to your father...

If he was really good and righteous, he would suggest immediately to come to your house to ask your wali/father for your hand in marriage .

There is an Arabic proverb talking about this kind of men the one who “enters house from window and not from the door of the house”

and Allah says in Qur’an :” So enter houses through their proper doors, and fear Allah that you may be successful.”

A faithful Muslim man would choose to make what is right and ask the father for the hand of his daughter and not to make a haram relationship with her behind his back! In fact, dating is haram in Islam and the engagement period is made so that the couple know one another better according to Sunnah in the presence of mahram of course (without dating)

* Be careful of a man who talks to you in “the name of religion”

Who wants to be in touch with you so you can help him to become "better Muslim” who wants to have chat with you so that he can take advantage of your Islamic knowledge or who wants to help you in religious matters!

he is like a brother

“You’re just like a brother to me!” she’d often tell her Muslim college friend whom she’s grown close to over the years. She feels comfortable with confiding in him, trusting him, opening up to him – but she’s never thought of him as a husband. They hang out together during their breaks, she calls him whenever she needs to vent, and she loves how he’s never judgmental towards her. To him, she was a friend at first — but he soon discovered that he’d often feel a tinge of jealousy whenever she spoke nonchalantly and joked with other male classmates. It burned him inside, and he’d always try to pull her away casually without making his irritation apparent. Many times, he’d look at her with admiration, smiling and melting away with his dreams of what could be for them. He would never dare bring up marriage to her, though. How could he when she only viewed him as her brother?
So, would you call these two good friends? Brother and sister maybe? Boyfriend and girlfriend? As with many cases in the Muslim community, this is a confused pseudo-marriage framed under the guise of friendship or an innocent brotherly bond. As the two become lax in their interaction, their hearts naturally – albeit unintentionally – gravitate towards each other, their minds become occupied with each other, and one or both parties eventually develop feelings that either remain trapped or expressed and acted upon unlawfully. With their increasing closeness and intimacy, the special reserves of loyalty, emotional sentiments and halaal physical attraction may be exhausted before their rightful outlet in marriage. If they end up not getting married and search elsewhere for a partner, they may never be content because they can’t resist comparing potential spouses with their former “friend”. Even if they eventually marry someone else, they will always have a history, and sometimes Shaytan can push them to reconnect and rekindle that past relationship during marriage.

Story of a young man with strong desires

A young man came to a shaykh and said, “I am a young man with strong desires. I cannot  help looking at people when I am in the bazaar(market). What do I do?” 

The shaykh handed him a cup of milk that was full to the brim, and told him to deliver it to an address that would take the young man directly through the bazaar (market). 

For the Love of the Gift

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We all love gifts. We love the blessings that beautify our lives. We love our children, our spouses, our parents, our friends. We love our youth and we love our health. We love our homes, our cars, our money, our beauty. But what happens when a gift becomes more than just a gift? What happens when a want becomes a need, a favor becomes a dependency? What happens when a gift is no longer only that?

What is a gift? A gift is something that did not come from us. A gift is given—and can be taken. We are not the original owners of a gift. A gift is also not necessary for our survival. It comes and goes. We want and love to receive gifts—but they are not necessary to our existence. We don’t depend on them. We don’t live to receive them and do not die if we don’t. They are not our air or our food. But we love them.

A girl emailed an Islamic website the following story of regret, embarrassment and pain

A girl emailed an Islamic website the following story of regret, embarrassment and pain:

Assalam Aleikom waand RahmatullahAllah's Mercy wa barakatuh,

I hope you can be of use to me in this problem: I'm a 17 year old Arab girl living in an Arab country and still in high school.

Unfortunately, I learnt about the internet, I misused it and spent my days chatting with guys and watching prohibited websites

(I did such things behind my parents back and no one knew about them) even though I used to be religious and hated girls who chatted with guys.

A MARRIAGE PROPOSAL

A story*..about a Marriage proposal*
***********************************************************
Once there was a very handsome, pious, well educated young man, whose parents emphasized for him to get married. They had seen so many marriage proposals, and he had turned them all down. The parents thought it was becoming a little ridiculous or suspected that he may have someone else in mind.
However every time the parents left the girls house, the young man would always say "she's not the one!" The young man only wanted a girl who was religious and practicing (which was hard to find). However one evening his mother arranged for him, to meet a girl, who was religious and practicing.

On that evening, the young man and girl were left to talk and ask each other question (as one would expect). The young man, being a gentleman that, he was allowed, young lady to ask first.
Young girl asked the young man so many questions. She asked about his life, his education, his friends, his family, his habits, his hobbies, his lifestyle, his enjoyment, his time pass, his experiences, his shoe size and his likes and dislikes. Basically everything!
And the young man replied to all of her questions, without tiring and politely with a smile. Young girl took up nearly all of the time, over an hour and felt bad and asked the young man do you have any questions?

CAREER & MARRIAGE! Two most important things around which the focus of many Muslim youth revolve !!

They also happen to be the most confusing things of their life as they don’t know how to go ahead and there are very few counsellors in these fields who can really counsel them from the Qur’an and the Hadith. So in order to make it easy for them to understand the theme I rotate the priorities from Career and Marriage to Marriage and Career putting marriage before Career. Don’t get a happy shock. It is in the terms of responsiblity.

❂ SAY NO TO ZINA ❂

❂ Say NO to Zina ❂

Assalamulaikum my lovely Sisters :-) A very important issue of todays world.

Praise be to Allaah.
...
Islam came to ...close the doors that lead to evil and sin, and is keen to block all the means that may lead to corruption of hearts and minds. Love and infatuation between the sexes are among the worst of problems.

Shaykh al-Islam Ibn Taymiyah (may Allaah have mercy on him) said in Majmoo’ al-Fataawa (10/129):

Love is a psychological sickness, and if it grows strong it affects the body, and becomes a physical sickness, either as diseases of the brain, which are said to be diseases caused by waswaas, or diseases of the body such as weakness, emaciation and so on. End quote.